Love Sucks
by infinitygalaxies.infinitystars
Summary: Jace is madly in love with Kaelie, a popular girl who is nice to everyone. Clary is so in love with Jace, that she forces herself to watch from the sidelines as their relationship progresses. She will do anything it takes to keep Jace happy. Whatever the cost. HAITUS
1. Chapter 1

**No awkward Clary/Simon love. They're just friends. Simon has never had a crush on Clary and never will.**

* * *

 **Chapter 1 - Prologue**

I'm in love with Jace Herondale.

That's the truth. Just... the plain truth as it is.

See, I didn't _mean_ to fall in love with him. It just... happened. I'm his best friend, alright? Ever since he was five and I was four, we've known each other. He's seen me at my best and at my worst, and vice versa. I've been in love with him since I was ten.

I've also seen him pick up, date and drop girls ever since he discovered himself. He would pick them up at a club, date them for three days to a week, and then dump them. This tradition never ended.

Until Kaelie came along.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 - Clary's P.O.V.**

The first day of the last week of school. Ah.

I got ready, ate an apple and rode my bike to school. Whizzing through English and Study Hall, I barely saw my friends. Double Art was a breeze, Art being my strongest subject. All too soon, Lunch arrived. I sat down at the table, with a banana and a cheese sandwich in front of me.

Jace sat down next to me and butterflies apparated into my stomach. Worry filled me when he leant his head on my shoulder. Jace Herondale _never_ did that unless something bad has happened.

"Jace?" I asked, gently. "What's the matter?"  
"Kaelie." Jace answered and my heart smashed. "She broke up with me. She said I wasn't interesting anymore." I started stroking his head. "Cherry," he called me by my nickname, "I loved her." My heart was now dust. "I don't know what to do without her. She was my everything. How will I survive without her?" My heart was empty. Wait, no - I _had_ no heart. He'd taken it and reduced it to ashes and then burnt those ashes to nothing.  
I didn't reply. I saw Isabelle (Jace's adoptive sister), Alec (his adoptive brother) and Simon (Isabelle's boyfriend) all walking to us. "One second, Jace." I whispered, then stood up. I walked up to Iz. "Iz, keep Jace company. Kaelie just broke up with him. _Be. Nice._ " I emphasised. They all nodded. I watched as Iz sat down and just hugged her brother. No words were exchanged. I turned and sighed. Now, it was my turn to get the boy I loved to be happy again. Even if that meant that I did something which killed me.

I walked up to Kaelie. "Kaelie?"  
She turned. Kaelie wasn't one of those arrogant snobs. She was nice to us losers. She listened and smiled. She wasn't evil. No one hated her. "Yes, Clary?"  
"I was just wondering... why did you break up with Jace? He... he's broken now. You were his everything. He worshipped you."  
Kaelie sighed and looked behind me at Jace, who was still depressed. "I don't know. I just... thought it would be better if we had broken up."  
"Well, I don't think it's doing either of you any favours, so I suggest you walk up to him right now, apologise and get back together with him." I pointed at Jace, ordering her. "I don't want to see Jace depressed. He's only happy when you're around."  
Kaelie smiled at me. "Okay, Clary. I'm convinced by your arguments. I have no rebuttal. I can think of no reason why I would possibly refuse your orders." She smiled again and walked over to Jace. She pulled Jace aside and they talked. From afar, I watched as Jace's face lit up and he nodded. I slunk into the shadows as I saw them kiss and I ran away when I saw Jace beam.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 - Jace's P.O.V.**

After Kaelie had apologised, I kissed her. Oh my God! I'm back with her! I felt so happy. In my peripheral vision, I saw Izzy, Alec and Simon look sadly out of the window as Kaelie and I sat down. When they noticed me looking, they immediately rearranged their faces into expressions of happiness for me. I smiled back at them, confused at their initial sad looks.

"Kaelie?" I asked my girlfriend (yay!).  
"Yes, Jace?" Kaelie asked, smiling.  
"What made you change your mind?"  
"Clary. She said she didn't like seeing you sad and asked me what made me break up with you. She made me realise that there was no reason for it. So, she told me to come over here, and get back together, since both of us were moping about it." She laughed. "She's a nice girl."  
I was stunned, and from their looks, the rest of the gang was, too. " _Clary_ did this?" Izzy asked.  
"Uh-huh." Kaelie said, still smiling. (Okay, the smiling was starting to annoy me. When does this girl not smile?)  
"I'll be right back." Isabelle stood up suddenly, her chair scraping the floor. She dumped the rest of her lunch and ran outside. She entered her car and sped away. Alec and Simon looked just as confused and worried as her.

Why?


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 - Iz's P.O.V.**

I knew Clary was nice, but making her crush get back together with his ex-girlfriend because she saw that both were moping and sad, and he wouldn't be happy until they were together again? That's being angelic on a whole new level.

* * *

I screeched to a stop near the abandoned library, which was Clary's hide-out ever since she and Jace had a tiny spat when they were six and seven. Clary showed me this place last year. No-one else came here.

I entered, calling out her name. "Clary? Clary? I know you're here!"  
"What?" A hoarse voice muttered from the 'Fantasy' section. I located her. She was sitting down, everything strewn about her. Her eyes were red, bloodshot and puffy. Tear-streaks were evident on her face. Her mascara and eyeliner had run. She looked broken.  
"Oh, sweetheart." I sat down next to her and held her. She looked at me for a second before the waterworks came on again. Sobs wracked her body. She shook and shuddered. I just held her, rocked her and made soothing noises. Finally, she quietened down. I managed to ask the one question I'd wanted to ask since I saw her.

"Why?"  
"Because, Iz, he was _broken_. Didn't you see him? He was utterly _broken_ without her. I... I wouldn't be able to live my life knowing that I could have done something to make him better."  
"But... what about..." She interrupted me.  
"My feelings for him?" She asked. I nodded. "He doesn't love me." She sniffled, slightly bitterly. "He loves _her_ and as long as he's happy, I'm happy. It doesn't matter that he's taken my heart and smushed it and smashed it so much that it's less than dust. He's happy. And that's what matters. He's happy and he's only happy with her. As long as he's happy, it doesn't matter that he doesn't know I'm in love with him. It doesn't matter that I've loved him since I was ten. It doesn't matter at all. The only thing that matters to me, Isabelle, is that he's happy. Even if it means that I have to kill myself in doing so, I _will_ keep Jace Herondale happy. Until my dying breath, Jace Herondale _will be happy._ And he'll probably be happy after that, too."  
"You... love... Jace?" I asked. "I knew you _liked_ him, but I didn't know you _loved_ him."  
She let out a short laugh that sounded sarcastic and bitter. "Yes, Isabelle. I love Jace. I love him and I will love him until I die and if there's a life after that, I will love him then."  
I whistled. "That is some serious loving."  
"Isabelle Sofia Lightwood." She said. I shut up. When Clary uses full names, you know she means business. "I love him with my mind, body and soul. He only sees me as a friend. He loves Kaelie. I want to die. Whole story in four sentences."  
I went quiet. Then, I stood up. "Well, Imma go get Ben'n'Jerry's and then Imma go home, so..."  
"I'll meet you there." Her voice was flat. Monotonous. Dead.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 - Alec's P.O.V.**

Everyone in our group - well, except Jace, of course - knew of Clary's crush on him. It had consumed her for years and Jace was completely oblivious.

"Uh, guys? What was up with Iz?" Jace asked, rubbing the back of his neck, as he always did when he felt nervous or guilty.  
"It doesn't matter." Simon snapped slightly. He was the one Clary first told about her crush on Jace, the rest of the gang just eavesdropping. She sounded so guilty and scared, that we'd all assured her that he probably liked her too. I still remember the day like it was yesterday, even though it was three years ago.

* * *

 _*Flashback*_

 _"_ _Simon, can I talk to you for a moment?" Clary asked before Homeroom started, wringing her hands together anxiously. She avoided looking any of us in the eye. The only one missing was Jace, who had a piano lesson.  
"Sure." Simon's smile was slightly off, obviously having noticed the same things I did.  
As soon as they disappeared around the corner, my sister and I looked at each other and raced after them quietly to eavesdrop on what they were saying._

 _"_ _Si, I'm scared. I didn't mean to. God knows I didn't mean to. It doesn't even make sense! That's why I've avoided him as much as I can without it seeming suspicious. Oh, God." She rambled, barely able to control the word vomit spewing from her mouth.  
"Whoa, whoa, slow down, Clare." Simon smiled reassuringly, using the nickname we gave her. "Now, breathe and start over. I barely understood anything you said."  
Clary blinked at him, nodded and took a deep breath. "Simon, I've fallen in love with Jace. _Jace _! Oh, God. What am I going to do?" She sank to the floor, tears running down her cheeks. She didn't notice. "What am I going to do, Si?"  
Iz and I looked at each other. We nodded and came from the shadows. I said, "It doesn't matter, Clare. He'd be a fool not to like you like that."  
Clary wasn't even surprised to know that we were eavesdropping. She probably knew that it would happen. Her head was in her hands and we could all hear the hiccup-y sobs that escaped her body. "No_ _…_ _no, he doesn't like me like that. He's got an insanely big crush on Kaelie."  
"Who?" Iz's eyebrows scrunched in confusion.  
"Kaelie Penhallow. Aline's cousin." Simon clarified, turning his head to Iz, but not taking his eyes off Clary. Aline was one of our classmates who was irritating in a way that made people want to shove her face into a volcano just to shut her up.  
"Oh, sweetheart." Iz sank to the floor next to Clary and pulled Clary into her. Iz just held her there, not caring that her best friend was crying a waterfall onto one of her favourite shirts. "We'll show you. We'll show you that he likes you."_

 _We couldn't._

 _*End Flashback*_

Later that day, after seeing Jace make lovey-dovey eyes at Kaelie when she wasn't watching, Clary walked up to Kaelie, dragging Jace with her. We watched as a sadness passed over her face. Jace, though he was her best friend, was too wrapped up in his own happiness at being so close to Kaelie that he didn't notice.  
"Jeez, I'll do this for you, then. I'm tired of this drama." We could hear the fake mock-annoyance in her voice... and the sad undertone that was well-concealed from the two in front of her. "Kaelie, do you like Jace? As in, in a more-than-friends way?" Clary asked, a sad tone in her voice that we could hear from the other side of the room.  
"Yeah." Kaelie answered, shyly. She was looking out of the window behind Jace, not meeting his eyes.  
Clary deflated a little. She turned to Jace. "Jace, do you like Kaelie in a more-than-friends way?"  
"You know I do." Jace said, watching Kaelie gasp and look at him before kissing him.

We watched sadly as Clary slunk away and ditched the rest of the day.

* * *

Isabelle came back for Study Hall, a period she shared with Simon and me. We sat out by the oak tree in the field out by the basketball courts.

"I voice recorded our conversation." She said quietly in the middle of a silence. Simon and I started slightly at her voice. Bringing out her phone, she warned us, "She sounds dead, but just listen to her words. I'll play it twice. I listened to it on repeat on the way here. It makes me want to slap Jace."  
She played the mp3 file.  
" _…_ _in four sentences._ " The recording cut off there. Simon and I had wide eyes. She replayed the tape.

"Jace is _so_ stupidly oblivious." I whispered, horrified at the fact that Clary implied that she would commit suicide if Jace wished it.  
"I'm… I'm keeping the recording. In case Clary does something stupid and Jace needs to know." Iz whispered. A tear ran down her cheek. "She… God, Alec, I can't even describe it… she looked _destroyed_. Destroyed but… she had this look… like she'd already accepted that he'd never be hers. Ever."  
"Who did?" Jace had walked up to us. He obviously hadn't heard the first part of what Iz said, only hearing the last two sentences, broken as they were.  
"Clary. She's in love with someone who doesn't love her back." Simon replied, tactfully. He answered Jace's question without giving away too much information… like the fact that the man in question was Jace himself.  
Jace's back stiffened, his muscles flexed and his jaw tightened. "Is that so?" He said through gritted teeth. Weird.  
"Yeah. But he's got a girlfriend and, unfortunately for Clary, loves her to bits." Iz continued, eyes narrowed. She had obviously noted Jace's stature like I had done.  
"Hmm." Jace made an odd sound before saying, "Why doesn't Clary break them up? Is it because she doesn't love him enough to do whatever to get him?" He sounded slightly hopeful. Iz's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion, but I beat her in answering him.  
"No, it's because she's so in love with him, that it pains her to see him sad. She'd rather him be happy with his girlfriend than be happy herself. She'd do whatever to make him happy, even if that means that she won't be happy." I waited to see Jace's reaction.  
"Huh." Jace sounded… emotionless. He stood and told us that he'd see us later.

* * *

"He likes her." Isabelle said, staring after Jace, incredulity in her voice. "He actually likes her."  
"Are you high? He doesn't like her like that. He's just protective. Remember he'd do this any time she described a male character and wished out loud for them to be real? He'd get all moody and…" Simon's voice trailed off. "Oh. My. God. He's totally jealous!"  
"How do you two reckon that?" I asked.  
"He's overly protective and territorial over Clary when she's around any guy who's not him, me or you. He gets moody when she lists traits of her dream boyfriend and he doesn't have them, or he isn't the male protagonist she have a crush on. He glares at any boy who messes with her or even looks at her. He was emotionless when we just told him about her." Simon and Isabelle reeled off, each saying a sentence before the other says a different sentence.  
I stared at them before grinning. "Well, my friends, it looks like we have a secret to keep and a plan to make."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6 - Jace's P.O.V.**

* * *

I stalked away from my friends, very annoyed. Clary hadn't told me she was _in love_ with anyone. Then, I realised that Clary was spending so much time helping me with my problems, she probably hadn't had the time. But I vowed to myself to ask her about it when I next saw her.

* * *

I didn't see Clary for days. Each day that she skipped school, I saw my friends slowly stop forcing their faces into smiles whenever they saw me. They looked upset and worried all of the time. They would whisper to each other, but whatever conversation they would have would abruptly cease whenever I came near them. I began to worry for Clary, but then Kaelie would erase all of that and make me feel amazing.

Finally, Clary came into PM Homeroom (which I shared with her). She spotted me and she seemed to be torn between throwing up, and running out of the building screaming. Taking a deep breath, she smiled faintly at me and sat down at the end of the row. I looked down the row, confused. Clary always sat next to me. So why was she sitting at the end of the row today? Roll-call came and went, and as soon as the bell rang, Clary was gone.

* * *

All throughout Maths and Economics, I sat wondering why Clary was avoiding me. Finally, after school, I found her.

"Clary, when were you going to tell me about this crush you have?" I demanded, as we walked in silence to the family playground between her house and mine. All blood drained from her face and she started turning green. "Whoa, whoa, I'm not mad or anything. Just tell me about the guy." I couldn't hide the slight bitter tone of my voice.  
Clary's eyes widened slightly, but understanding dawned on her. The colour returned to her cheeks and she cleared her throat. "Yeah, okay. He's… he's amazing. He's so trustworthy and honest and… he's witty and sarcastic and he's so damn hot!" Clary's voice turned adoring and full of awe.  
I cleared my throat then. "And, uh, the guys tell me he has a girlfriend?"  
Her face fell and I internally smacked myself. _Great going, Jace. Just upset your best friend._ "Yeah. Yeah, he does. She's great, too, actually. They… they suit each other." Her voice turned hoarse and like she was trying hard not to cry.  
I softened at her expression. "What's she like? What's he like? Get it off your chest, Clare. Come on. Tell Jace all about it." I sat her down on one of the swings and then sat down on the one next to hers. I swivelled the swing around so that I was facing her. "Well? Out with it."  
"I'll start with y- the guy. Well, he has the most gorgeous hair! I mean, it's the best shade of blonde, in my opinion!" She gushed, slightly. I huffed internally. _This was_ not _informing me on who this guy is! Half the guys at school are blonde!_ "And his eyes! They're so g- I mean, they're the most amazing eyes in the world!" I was too caught up in the implications and eliminating the possibilies, that I missed her slight slip. "He's really… well, he's really good-looking. Very attractive. Physically, at least." She was blushing furiously while saying this, showing her embarrassment. I found myself staring at her, admiring her innocent beauty, before slapping myself mentally. _I am in a relationship with a beautiful, kind, amazing girl! Do not check out best friend during this period of time. Remember, she's got a crush on some guy._ "Mentally, I'm sure he's fine, and he does well at school. I talk to him sometimes and he tells me his GPA and his marks and stuff… he's pretty studious… when he wants to be…" She fiddled with his fingers whilst saying that they talk sometimes, which _should_ have sent up red flags in my head, since that was Clary Fray's telltale sign that she was lying. But, I was too distracted. "He's pretty sarcastic. I hear him talking to other people and, whilst they say some stuff about him, I make my own research. He's sarcastic and funny and witty and brutally honest and…" she paused, her eyes watering up, "he's not mine. I… Sorry. I can't talk about him like I _own_ him. He's someone else's. And she's his."  
"It's okay. Now, tell me about her. If you want." I asked, gently, wondering whether this question would send her over the edge and make her cry.  
"No, I don't mind. She's the nicest person ever. She's gorgeous. You know Helen Blackthorn? That lesbian chick you tried to date before Kaelie? Well, if his girlfriend swung that way, Helen wouldn't waste a second. She's like… like Isabelle. Well, not _as_ pretty as her, in my opinion. Then again, I don't find anyone prettier than Isabelle. This girl is sweet and kind and she smiles at me, even though I'm sure she knows I like her guy, and if she doesn't know, I'm sure she's guessed. I mean, she's amazing. She's funny, I guess, and her sarcasm and wit aren't too bad either. He makes up for what she lacks in both departments. She… She's perfect for him. I'm not." She looked down.  
"I'm sure that's not true." I tried to comfort her.  
"No, it is. They suit each other. They're perfect together. She's level-headed enough to keep him from dreaming away. He's daring enough to give her adventure. They're both kind enough to be Homecoming King and Queen, not to mention Prom King and Queen. They're the couple most relationships aim to be. Never once have I heard them argue. Never once has anyone seen them angry with each other." She started to raise her voice, slightly angry. Then, she deflated completely. "I want that with him, Jonno. I want him. But, I can't have him." Clary looked surprised, as if she didn't realise that she had actually admitted everything she had just said.  
I realised just how deep in love she was with this guy. Clary had just called me 'Jonno', which she only used under serious conditions. She only used it like so because she knew I hated my given name: Jonathon. Suddenly, an angry, burning, betrayed feeling arose within me. I was stuck questioning why. I wasn't angry at her, Clary had every right to fall in love with guys; I wasn't burning up, I hadn't developed a fever; and I wasn't betrayed, Clary wasn't doing anything against me. So why did I feel like I was being ripped apart? I, being smart, decided to ask Isabelle. I turned to ask Clary where Isabelle was, but she had disappeared. I frantically looked around myself, to see a wisp of fiery red hair fading around the corner. I commended her stealth at escaping me.  
Pulling out my phone, I texted Isabelle.

* * *

 _Iz? Come meet me outside our house. - Jace  
Okay. Need me to bring anything? - Isabelle  
Yeah. Alec and Magnus would be helpful. - Jace  
Can I bring Simon as well? - Isabelle  
If you must. - Jace  
See you in a few. - Isabelle_

* * *

Isabelle appeared after what seemed like a few seconds to me, but I knew it had been longer, as the sky was turning dark.  
"Hey, Jace. What's up?" Isabelle asked.  
"Well, Clary just described the boy she likes and his girlfriend. She called me 'Jonno'. She's serious about this guy, isn't she?"  
Isabelle fiddled with her shirt's hem. "Yeah. Yeah, she is. Actually," she looked around at our group, "we're worried about her. She's… she's been saying things that are… unhealthy. She's been… I guess you could call it self-harming. Only psychologically, though. Not, literally, like cutting or hunger strikes."  
My eyes were wide. "What do you mean, self-harming?" I asked, shocked that our ClareBear would do such a thing.  
"I mean, she does things for this guy, the guy she's crushing on, that other girls wouldn't do. If he's sad, she'll cheer him up. Whatever the cost. If he's angry, she'll calm him, not caring if she gets hurt. Recently, she did something like this when he was sad. She… she went to her secret hideout. Only I know where it is, and I'm not allowed to tell you. Girl oath. She… she was bawling her eyes out. This… this isn't healthy. I want her to tell him. Just… to tell him, but she's scared he'll shut her out. She thinks he'll desert her. She thinks he'll leave her and break her heart. So, she tells me she's content with loving him from afar and only entering the picture when she's needed as the caring friend."  
My lips twitched into a smile. "That sounds like Clary." I looked down. "Is there any way for _me_ to convince her to tell her crush?"  
Isabelle's eyes widened, almost comically. She fell off the bench she was sitting on. "No! On no account must you do that! She'll cry. She doesn't want you to get angry that she'll be spending absurd amounts of time with this guy if things work out, and if they don't, she doesn't want to seem really clingy and get you mad, then. _Don't prompt her._ Leave it to me. Girls take advice better from girls they trust. Chicks before dicks, man. She'll prefer it coming from me. Believe me." Isabelle stood from the bench. "Si and I have to go now. Magnus will take over being relationship guru. You can talk about your relationship with him. I'll get Clary to tell me everything she knows about this guy. Then, the research begins." She rubbed her hands, almost menacingly, before waving her fingers in a gesture of farewell and leaving, pulling Simon with her.

"Well, Lover Boy. Spill the beans. Come on. Tell Magnus everything."  
I had a rather disturbing sense of déjà vu as I heard him say that, but shook my head and began telling the story of how Kaelie and I met, how we were as a couple before we broke up, how Kaelie broke up with me, how Clary got us back together before disappearing, how I was super worried about Clary but also super happy about Kaelie, and now about being worried about Clary again. I looked up at Magnus, who shared a glance with Alec.  
"Dayum, boy! I asked about your relationship, not relationship _s_! You seem to be dating both this Kaelie girl and Biscuit." Magnus said. 'Biscuit' referred to Clary, stemming from their first meeting, in which Clary was so nervous, she kept offering biscuits and eating them, simply for the want of something to do.  
I laughed. "As if I'd ever be in a relationship with _Clary_! That's ludicrous! Insane! Why on Earth would I ever be in a relationship with someone like _Clary_? She's practically my sister!"  
Alec had been giving me death looks and was crossing his hand rapidly against his throat, like he was beheading himself with his hand. It was only later that I realised that he was trying to get me to stop. Pausing, I cocked my head at him. Silence befell us before…  
"That's the sound of Clary crying!" I jumped up and whispered furiously at Alec. "Why is she crying?" Alec shrugged. Of course he wouldn't know, he was with me since Clary left.  
I ran, following the noise of the sobbing as it got louder and louder, until…

"Oh, Clary. Cherry, what's up?" I asked her, pulling her in for a hug. She shook her head, indicating that she couldn't, or wouldn't, answer. "Iz, why's she crying?"  
Isabelle looked absolutely furious as she answered, "She just heard her crush and some of his friends talk about relationships and stuff. Her crush and his girlfriend's relationship was on hold for a bit, and he obviously hadn't told them they were back together. His friends told him to see if Clary was available, because she seemed close to him. He laughed and said something that only an asshat would say." Our group had adopted a bunch of less offensive cusses from Clary. "I'm paraphrasing, of course, but he basically said 'never in a million years'."  
That made Clary cry harder, but she pushed away from me. She looked me in the eye. Green against gold. Watery against dry. Her against me. "I'm fine." She tried at a smile, but it looked like a grimace. "I'm just… gonna go home. I might not be in school for a while. Don't worry. I'll be in next week." She waved as she and Isabelle made their way to their shared apartment.  
"But today's Monday, Simon." I said, confused.


End file.
